Summary & Review Of The 5 Love Languages Book
Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages book has sold over 12 million copies, has been a #1 New York Times Bestseller for 8 years running and is now celebrating its 25th anniversary. Now, that’s a special book!
The 5 Love Languages gives you the keys and the power to transform your relationships. It should be read by everyone, and it may pertain to any type of relationship.
What Are The Five Love Languages Everything You Need To Know
Use love languages to appreciate people, support friends, and to show your partner you care. Take the love language quiz to find yours.
Dr. Gary Chapman wrote The 5 Love Languages back in 1992. In that now-famous work, he coined the term love languages to explain the fundamentally different ways we express and receive love. But the love languages arent just for romance! You can use the love languages to appreciate people in business, to support friends, and to show a partner you care.
Take the Quiz
Are you wondering which Love Language you are? You can take Dr. Chapmans official quiz to find out!
Remind Me What Are The Five Love Languages
Chapman established five basic ways people like to give and receive love: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. And while the love languages are often discussed in the context of romantic relationships, they can also apply to platonic friendships, employees, and work friends.
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The Secret To Loving Children Effectively
Love Is the Foundation
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Brad and Emily couldn’t figure out what was wrong with Caleb, their eight-year-old son. He had been an above-average learner and still did his homework, but this year he was struggling in school. He would go to the teacher after she had given an exercise and ask her to explain it again. He’d visit her desk up to eight times a day, asking for further instructions. Was it poor hearing or a comprehension problem? Brad and Emily had Caleb’s hearing tested, and a school counselor gave him a comprehension test. His hearing was normal and his understanding typical for a third-grader.
Other things about their son puzzled them. At times, Caleb’s behavior seemed almost antisocial. The teacher would take turns eating with her third-grade students during lunch, but Caleb would sometimes push other children aside so he could be near her. During recess, he would leave other children whenever the teacher appeared on the playground, running to her to ask an insignificant question and escape the others. If the teacher participated in a game during recess, Caleb would try to hold the teacher’s hand during the game.
“How about you, Emily?” I asked. “Have there been any changes in your lifestyle over the last few months?”
“There may be other factors involved,” I said, “but if you will give your son large doses of quality time and then sprinkle in the other four love languages, I think you will see a radical change in his behavior.”
Full Review Of The 5 Love Languages By Gary Chapman
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Are you looking to transform a relationship, or even to simply understand and appreciate yourself or someone else better? This summary and review of The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman explores the “languages” we use to show and accept love. I also link to the free 5 Love Languages quiz so you can find out your own language for Valentine’s Day or any day!
I’m no stranger to personality quizzes. I swear by the MBTI and an Enneagram 6 I have found learning about my personality types to be so influential to me in understanding my strengths and weaknesses, which informs every other area of my life.
As for my love language, before I even took the free 5 Love Languages quiz I knew I would be a quality time gal. I always feel best when I am doing something — anything — with my husband, and when he’s not around, I feel lost and lack motivation. While some relationships thrive on space and time apart, I would feel unloved if he were consistently doing activities without me.
Check out more details about Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages book and how it can pertain to your life below :
You Think Youve Sprained Your Ankle How Can Your Partner Best Help You Out
A By leaving work early to wait with you for hours in A& E with a puzzle book bought in the hospital shop.B Take your parcels to the post office.C Ice your leg for the duration of Lawrence of Arabia.D Make you a playlist while youre stuck on the sofa, then order a takeaway.E Allay your fears that youre no fun to be around, even though you most certainly are not.
What Are The 5 Love Languages
Gary Chapman is a 40+ year marriage counselor whose premise is this — each person understands “love” primarily in one of five “languages”:
Have you ever told someone your love for them and been exasperated by his or her response that they just wish you would hug and kiss them more? That would mean you are speaking the “words of affirmation” love language, but your recipient understands love in the “physical touch” language.
Or have you ever received a lavish gift from someone but just wished they would have spent the afternoon in your company instead? That would mean you are speaking the “quality time” love language but your gift giver understands love in the “receiving gifts” love language. Love conflicts: resolved!
A simple bit of knowledge and mindfulness about a person’s love language can help you communicate better and strengthen any relationship. For example, I can picture the love languages being employed by parents with their child, who lack the communication skills to convey their emotional needs.
I highly recommend this quick, but powerful book for anyone looking to improve any type of relationship.
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How Love Languages Benefit Relationships
We all express and receive love differently. Learning and understanding those differences can have a meaningful impact on your relationship. According to Chapman, this is one of the simplest ways to improve your relationships. Here are some other ways learning your respective love languages could be beneficial.
Love Language : Quality Time
Ask yourself, how do you feel when your partner gives you their undivided attention and you engage in meaningful conversation or activities?
Examples: You and your partner have a date night, go on a trip together, or have a deep conversation?
If these things make you feel the most loved and happy, quality time may be your primary love language.
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Types Of Love Languages Explained
The term “love language” comes from marriage counselor Gary Chapman’s 1992 book, “The Five Love Languages.”
According to Chapman, there are five ways in which people best express and experience romantic love, meaning five “love languages:”
Act of Service: For “acts of service,” actions speak louder than words when it comes to love. This could mean you prefer when your romantic partner helps you with a project or they do a task for you, such as picking up the weekly groceries or cleaning up the house.
Receiving Gifts: Contrary to what you may think, “receiving gifts” is not about being materialistic. Those with this love language feel most loved when their partner gives them something heartfelt and meaningful, no matter how big or small the gift. Examples include giving flowers on a random occasion or purchasing something your partner said they needed.
Quality Time: “Quality time” is just as how it sounds spending ample, undivided time with your partner. This could include taking walks, going on a picnic or just hanging out one-on-one and enjoying each other’s company.
Word of Affirmation: “Word of affirmation” lets literal words do the love communicating. For this love language, people feel most affirmed through praise, compliments and overall open, positive communication. Examples include thanking your partner for doing a task, voicing your appreciation for them and, of course, saying, “I love you.”
How Can I Apply The Five Love Languages To Friendships
To help your friendships stand the test of time, try implementing the love languages. This becomes even more powerful when life gets in the way of those relationships, said Ury. The older people get, the busier they become. Friendships can sometimes take a back seat to work and romantic relationships.
Heres how you can apply each of the five love languages to your platonic relationships:
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Love Languages In Everyday Life
According to Chapman, love languages also apply to relationships between parents and children, among coworkers, and among friends. For example, if your child’s primary love language is words of affirmation, they’d like to hear verbal praise or, “I love you.” It’s highly individual: A coworker might feel more appreciated if you use one love language instead of another.
Your love language can also change occasionally. For instance, if you had a bad day at work, you might prefer a hug from your partner rather than an encouraging word.
The key is to regularly communicate and ask what your partner needs to feel cherished, heard, appreciated, and loved. Then, put this into practice.
Love Languages Help Maintain Intimacy
Regularly talking about what keeps your love tanks full can build more understandingâand ultimately, intimacyâin your relationship. You’ll not only learn more about one another, but you’ll also connect in deeper, more significant ways. When this happens, your relationship feels more intimate.
A 2016 review published in the Global Journal of Health Science concluded that improving communication skills can aid intimacy in a marriage.
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Tests Taken In The Last 30 Days
This free quiz reveals how you prefer to give and receive love. The concept of love languages was created by couples counselor Dr. Gary Chapman, who observed that people differ in what sort of interactions make them feel loved. Dr. Chapman described 5 love languages, however our research on over 500,000 volunteers indicates there are actually seven distinct ways of showing love. This quiz measures your preference for all 7 of these modern love styles.
Get Practical Tips For How To:
Express love to your teen effectively
Navigate the key issues in your teens life, including anger and independence
Set boundaries that are enforced with discipline and consequences
Support and love your teen when he or she fails
Get ready to discover how the principles of the five love languages can really work in the life of your teenage and family.
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The Explanation Of Each Of The Love Languages Underneath The Quiz Helped Me To Understand Them More Deeply
The quiz did not just explain my top love language, but it also included a description of the four other love languages underneath my results chart.
The descriptions helpfully explained the nuances within each of the love languages and why they are important to people.
The descriptions even helped me to understand that “receiving gifts,” which I’ve never been a fan of, is about more than just “materialism,” but involves feeling “known” by the other person. It also explained that “a missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous” for the person receiving the gift, which I felt was a useful tip.
Love Language : Words Of Affirmation
Ask yourself, how do you feel when you hear your partner offer encouraging, positive, and affirming words, and compliments?
Examples: Your partner congratulates you, tells you “great job!”, tells you that you look attractive, or thanks you for something?
If these things make you feel the most loved and happy, words of affirmation may be your primary love language.
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Love Languages Create Empathy
As you learn more about how your partner experiences love, you learn to empathize with them. It helps you step outside of yourself for a moment and take a look at what makes another person feel significant and loved.
When couples are committed to learning and using the love languages, they increase their emotional intelligence and learn how to put someone else’s needs above their own. Instead of speaking their own love language to their partner, they learn how to speak in a language that their partner understands.
Parents This Concept Of Love Languages Is Easy To Put Into Action
If youre ready to:
- Gain a little bit of time foryourself.
- Feel more peace in your own home.
- Get your child to listen better and have fewer meltdowns.
- Find answers to why some behaviors happen.
And. best of all. send you on a path to healthy relationships in the future with your kids.
Here are the 3 Secrets You MUST Know BEFORE you jump into learning about the 5 Love Languages.
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Love Languages Promote Selflessness
When you are committed to learning someone else’s love language, you are focused on their needs rather than your own. This is the central premise of Chapman’s theory. Couples should work to learn their partner’s love language rather than trying to convince their partner to learn theirs. Ideally, both people will want to express love in a way that is meaningful to the other.
The entire purpose of exploring your love languages together is to learn how to love your partner in a way that is meaningful to them.
The Five Love Languages Quiz
It is the best feeling that you can ever have: Love. There are multiple signs to show or receive, to fall or get deprived by this aspect: Love. Which love language do you speak or care about the most? Let us find out.
- 1. You had a bad fight with your loved one the previous night. You want the person to woe you. What would you prefer the most?
Brushing your hair gently with her hands
Have cooked your favorite breakfast
Is sitting at the edge of your bed waiting for you to wake up
Your partner asks you out for a dinner at your favorite restaurant
You partner assures you that you are the best and will always be able to cope up with your problems, so no need to worry
Your partner leaves what he/she was doing and ask you in detail about what has happened.
You love to hear positive things about you, but not criticism
You love a bit of help in the household work you do
You just want someone to hear your heart out
An unexpected kiss from the on you love
You see a work already completed that you didn’t feel like doing
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Do You Know Which Of The 5 Love Languages You Use Most In Your Relationships To Express Love To Your Significant Other
personalityWOMEN.COM | Quiz Facts
Take this 5 Love Languages assessment based on the book by Dr. Chapman to discover your love language and begin improving your relationships. Your love language profile will explain your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect to others.
Want to know more about the 5 Love Languages? Well, Dr. Gary Chapman actually has six different editions! According to the official Love Languages website, there are tests for couples, singles, men, military personnel, children, and teens. Each test is different and catered to that specific topic.
Dr. Gary Chapman has a passion for people, and for helping them form authentic, lasting bonds. Did you know? He actually is a well-known marriage counselor, making him the perfect resource for determining these love languages.
Now, if you want more quizzes about love and romance, you can take them here! But for now, take this 5 Love Languages quiz to see which one suits your personality!
When I Tried The Quiz Myself I Had Set Expectations About What My Results Would Say
I’d heard about the theory of love languages before Chapman’s quiz started going viral, so as I opened up the quiz, I was already predicting what my results were going to say.
First of all, I am extremely into hugs, to the point where everyone I know finds it annoying, so, I was pretty sure “physical touch” would be my top result.
Second, I absolutely despise the concept of gift giving. Having to think of a good gift idea for a big birthday or occasion stresses me out to the highest extreme, and I roll my eyes at every predictable rom-com scene where the love interest turns up at the door with a bouquet after having just made a terribly awful mistake as if a $20 gas station present is going to fix everything.
With that in mind, I was also convinced that “receiving gifts” would be my lowest score.
The very first question on the quiz asked if I was an “adult,” “teenager,” or if I was “taking this quiz for my child.”
I was mildly confused about why anyone would want to take this quiz for a child because I felt like most people think about the theory in terms of romantic love. However, the description on the quiz says it is suitable for “couples, singles, teens, and children,” so I guess I learned that it’s something that can be used for parent-children relationships as well.
The quiz then asked if I was single or in a relationship. I responded with “single,” and happily so, might I add.
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