Examples Of The Physical Touch Love Language Include:
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Giving your loved one a back rub
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Holding hands while you are out on a walk
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Taking them out to dance one night
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Give them a kiss or hug
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Cuddle/snuggle with your partner
If you are having trouble identifying your and your partners love languages, couples counseling can be a helpful resource. In couples therapy, a licensed relationship therapist or marriage therapist will be able to guide you in the right direction for healthy communication and can help you identify your needs for emotional fulfillment. Relationship counseling can offer you and your partner a space to reflect on the ways you register and express love.
Dating With Each Type Of Love Language
Love languages are a deceptively simple concept, and understanding them can be transformative if you put in the practical work. It invites curiosity, not mind-reading, into the relationship.
For example, you might love words of affirmation, but your partner places a premium on quality time and touch. As a bid for connection, you might text him sweet nothings all day and think you’re great at expressing love meanwhile, he might be wondering why you’re never interested in spending time cuddling on the couch together at night and may actually be feeling unloved because of that. See how it’s easy for disconnection and resentment to enter the picture? By determining our primary and secondary love language preferences, it can be easier to give each other what we innately crave.
Here are some tips for dating people with each type of love language:
Love Language : Quality Time
Ask yourself, how do you feel when your partner gives you their undivided attention and you engage in meaningful conversation or activities?
Examples: You and your partner have a date night, go on a trip together, or have a deep conversation?
If these things make you feel the most loved and happy, quality time may be your primary love language.
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Why Are Love Languages Important To Know
The more aware you are of how you love people in your life and how you actually take in love, the easier it is to get and give love.
Think of it this way: If you were looking for a pair of jeans and wanted to find them without knowing anything about what you were looking for ex: straight leg, flare, dark wash, light wash, distressed wouldn’t it be hard to find that pair of jeans? You’d be trying on jeans forever, and would probably become frustrated in the process.
What if, instead, you knew that the best jeans for you are high-waisted, a tight fit, and a certain brand. Wouldn’t it make it 100 times easier to find a pair of jeans that not only fit right but feel right, too?
It’s the same with love.
When you know how you work, what you want, and what you need to give to your partners and loved ones, it makes it 100 times easier to do. The Love Languages system is a road map to satisfaction and who wouldn’t want to get their hands on that roadmap?
Keeping Your Love Tank Full
With a minimum of effort, couples can continue to speak each other’s love language. It takes just a few minutes each day to find out what your partner needs. Then you try to meet that need.
Chapman says his Five Love Languages won’t solve every problem in a couple, but they will address the fundamental emotional needs at play. “If that need is met, you’re more likely to be able to deal with the other issues in the marriage,” he says. “This is just another tool to help you enhance the relationship, and particularly to enhance the emotional part of the relationship.”
Nise agrees that Chapman’s approach can have a positive impact. “You can’t go wrong with doing a bunch of nice things for your spouse,” she says. “And clearly, it works.”
It seems to be working for my husband and me. Our love tanks are staying pretty full these days.
Show Sources
Gary Chapman, PhD, director, Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc., Winston-Salem, N.C. author, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.
Chapman G. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, Northfield Publishing, 1992 .
Julie Nise, MA, LPC, LMFT, marriage coach, Aim Counseling Center, Houston author, 4 Weeks to a Happier Relationship.
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What’s My Love Language
My husband and I have been married for many years, and I think overall we have a pretty good relationship. It’s not perfect, though. Little things can push our buttons. For instance, I get annoyed when he lets the trash cans overflow, and he gets irritated with the sloppy way I load the dishwasher. Often we get so preoccupied with work and parenting that intimacy and romance are thrown on the back burner.
Although I’m generally skeptical about any technique that purports to fix my marriage, I figured there’s always room for improvement.
So my husband and I set about learning each other’s love languages.
According to Chapman, discovering your partner’s love language requires some careful thought and observation. You need to ask, “What’s most important to me?” and “What does my spouse seem to request most often in the relationship?”
“How do they respond to other people and how do they respond to you? If they always give you words of affirmation, that’s probably their love language,” he says.
You also need to listen carefully to your partner’s criticisms. “We often get defensive,” Chapman says, “but they’re really giving us valuable information. If they’re complaining about something, that very likely is their love language.” In other words, if your partner is always commenting that you never do the cooking, they’re probably an “acts of service” person.
Falling In Love And Out Of It
When we fall in love, we feel euphoric. We have the illusion that our partners are perfect and that the romantic feelings in our relationship will last forever. During this in-love period which typically lasts about 2 years, we feel altruistic toward each other. We give freely because we believe our lover feels the same about us, and are equally committed to meeting our needs. When the phase eventually passes, relationship issues start to surface. To learn more about the in-love vs real love stages, do check out our full version of The 5 Love Languages summary .
To have a lasting relationship, we must learn and speak our spouses primary love language. When their love tanks are full, they are in a better position to reciprocate your love, and are free to grow to their full potential.
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The Most Common Love Languages
While there may or may not be just five love languages, the five articulated by Dr. Chapman in his book seem to be the most pervasiveand many people feel one or two of them resonate the most with them.
However, people may also respond to love shown in any combination or all of these languages. Its just that one or more tend to feel the most powerful to each person. Interestingly, by far the most common love language is quality time, with nearly 40% of people calling that their number one way to give and receive affection. For men, second place is a near tie between physical touch and words of affirmation. For women, words of affirmation seem to be the most common second favorite way to receive love.
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Interestingly, according to the dating app Hinge, sharing your love language preferences tends to increase a persons likelihood of getting likes from potential suitors. And they find that women who select acts of service as their preferred mode of love, get by far the best response in terms of likes compared with preferring the other love languages.
Signs Youre In A Healthy Relationship
Love languages are a great tool to supplement the health of a relationship, says Jessica Small, a marriage and family counselor with Growing Self Counseling and Coaching in Denver. Speaking to your partner in their love language ensures that they feel loved, cared for, and important. It also creates increased opportunities for positive interactions.
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Creatively Anticipate Their Needs
“Look out for the small things that would brighten their day by meeting a future needs of theirs such as packing them an umbrella when it might rain or bringing snacks to a long event,” Yakubov suggests. Broaden what you can do for them by filtering it through what they would appreciate. By focusing too much on fulfilling stereotypical domestic responsibilities, we run the risk of missing out on what they really need.
When To Get Help For Your Relationship
If you and your partner have different love languages and your efforts to connect dont seem to translate, you may want to get the help of a marriage therapist. Ask yourself if you need help getting our love languages to align. If so, counselors can help you see the ways in which you each process and share love, encourage you to speak each others love languages, and help you cultivate a healthier relationship.
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Dating Someone Whose Love Language Is Words Of Affirmation
If words aren’t your thing and you’re dating someone whose love language is words of affirmation, don’t worry.
What matters is that you are tending to your words with care and getting down to the root of why you love your partner when you speak.
Here are a few tips to keep in mind for using words of affirmation:
What Is A Love Language Exactly
Do you have a friend who says theyd take a clean kitchen over flowers any day when youd prefer a little romance? That right there is a basic example of different love languages.
We all express and receive love differently and those differences could be the reason why feelings and good intentions sometimes get lost in translation.
For example, you spend weeks trying to find a partner the most amazing gift ever, but come their birthday they respond with I wouldve been happy just ordering in and then snuggling up on the couch together.
Its not necessarily that theyre ungrateful or that you messed up. They just communicate their love differently or have a different love language.
Recognizing how you and a partner like to receive and express love could lead to more thoughtful connections and a healthy relationship not to mention less explosive birthdays and Valentines.
There are five love languages as first introduced in 1992 by marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages.
The five love languages are:
The first love language is words of affirmation, and its all about expressing affection and appreciation through words, be it spoken, written, in texts, or all of the above.
This may be one of your love languages if you thrive on:
- being told that youre appreciated
- hearing I love you often
- receiving words of encouragement
Here are some examples of words of affirmation you can use in romantic or platonic relationships:
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Understanding The Five Love Languages Can Enhance Your Relationship By:
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Improving communication
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Preventing problems
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Strengthening appreciation
One of the most important aspects of a relationship is understanding. When you truly love someone, you will be inclined to better understand how they feel the most loved, and how the five love languages can play a major role in that process.
The 5 Love Languages 7 Days 1 Couple
The best-selling relationship advice book gets put to the test.
After 30 years as a marriage and family counselor, Gary Chapman, PhD had heard a lot of couples’ complaints — so many, in fact, that he began to see a pattern. “I realized I was hearing the same stories over and over again,” he says.
When Chapman sat down and read through more than a decade worth of notes, he realized that what couples really wanted from each other fell into five distinct categories:
“I really do feel that these five appear to be rather fundamental in terms of ways to express love to people,” says Chapman, the director of Marriage & Family Life Consultants, Inc. in Winston-Salem, N.C.
Chapman termed these five categories “love languages” and turned the idea into a book, The 5 Love Languages, which went on to become a huge bestseller. Chapman says that learning each other’s love language can help couples express their emotions in a way that’s “deeply meaningful” to one another.
I thought I’d put his strategy to the test.
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Many People Misuse The Languages
Some people get a bit competitive about using love languages, which can actually strain a relationship. For example, partners might start keeping track of all the times they use their partner’s love language and compare it to how many times their partner used theirs.
Love languages can be a way to open up communication and compassion, but you shouldn’t use them as games or weapons against your partner. Some people continue to use their own language to show they careâand that’s OK.
You can be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t share your love language. Try to be understanding and open. You can recognize and appreciate your partnerâs actions even if they donât match your own language perfectly.
Summary: What Are The Love Languages
What are the love languages? A love language is a person’s preferred way to express and receive love. The idea was popularized by author Ron Chapman, who created five love language categories: acts of service, physical touch, quality time, receiving gifts, and words of affirmation. Knowing your partner’s love language will give you a better idea of what they need and expect from a relationship. In combination with regular, honest talks, knowing each other’s love language can ensure everyone’s needs are being met.
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What Is The Physical Touch Love Language
Physical touch is one of the five love languages, and it refers to expressing and receiving affection through touch, physical closeness, and other forms of physical connection.
Kissing, hugging, holding hands, and sex are all ways of showing love through the physical touch love language.
Most specifically, having touch as a love language means that small physical gesturessuch as having a partner put their arm around you in public or snuggle up close to you on the couch while watching TV togethermatter a lot more to you than things like gifts or saying “I love you.”
There’s a physiological reason physical touch is so enjoyable: That skin-to-skin contact triggers the release of certain hormones associated with pleasure and bonding, explains licensed marriage and family therapist Kiaundra Jackson, LMFT, of KW Couples Therapy.
“If someone’s love language is physical touch, they may or may not know it, but they enjoy the release of the ‘feel-good hormones’ our body secretes like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin,” Jackson tells mbg. “Oxytocin is known as the bonding hormone. That hormone is the same hormone released between a newborn baby and its mother, which is why skin-to-skin contact is highly recommended for bonding after childbirth.”
Who We Learn From:
As a Canadian wedding videographer, it is such a privilege to witness so many different love stories: of many cultures, of diverse hardships, and of the widest array of complementary belonging. And it’s important to understand the ways in which we spread our love.
And to do this, let’s draw on the works of Dr. Gary Chapman, world renowned couple specialist and anthropologist. He argues for the understanding and practicing of the 5 love languages.
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Much like we personify one of the 9 archetypal lovers, we all possess the ability to show and receive love through these 5 ways of communication. We may show a preference for multiple, but depending on our stage of life and past experiences, we all tend towards one language of love.
The more we’re able to ‘speak’ another’s language, the greater our perceived ability to love becomes, and the greater connection there is. For example, if our date’s love language is Receiving Gifts, we’d jump up a 10 if we gave them a book we knew they would enjoy — as opposed to showering them in hugs and kisses , in which case we would rank less than a 10. If there is the speaking of different love languages, there’s bound to be a misalignment in communication and unwillingness to show sincere affection.
We need to speak the same love language.
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Different Types Of Love Languages For Long
Well, there are several ways of expressing love. But they all arent equal to vocally telling your partner I love you or expressing your emotions. It is crucial to regularly express affection to your significant other and tell them how much they mean to you. But are we all doing it? How to do it perfectly? Love languages! Yes, you heard it right!
There are specific love languages that aid and help us navigate the world of love. They are a perfect and powerful instrument of communication with our partners. Fascinated more? Let us learn more about them!
What are Love Languages?
The concept of love language was created by Dr. Gary Chapman, who is a renowned marriage counselor. This concept is helpful to describe the ways people receive and communicate in their relationships. The love languages help each partner feel loved, affectionate and appreciated in the relationship. These act as standing stones several times, given our inability to perfectly describe our feeling and speak to our loved ones frequently.