Are You Ready To Find Out More About Your Love Language
Now that you know about The 5 Love Languages®, you should have a good idea of which one is your primary language. Lets see what yours has to say about you!
If Behavior Can Stink So Can Love Languages
Using behavior to demonstrate love is not the same as feeling love for the other person. Here are examples of behaviors that are love languages but convey little to no love:
- Falsely praising an emotionally volatile partner to avoid yet another argument .
- Playing with your partners hair absentmindedly .
- Begrudgingly buying your partner that expensive anniversary gift that you disapprove of .
- Treating your partner as your mental health therapist during your one-to-one time together .
- Busying yourself with household chores to avoid having difficult conversations with your partner .
The love languages can also become problematic when people treat them as personality tests or use them to keep score on whos been loving whom more or overly focus on this framework to analyze their relationship woes.
At The Heart Of Every Man Is A Desire To Master What Matters
Getting a compliment at work or on the court is nice, but nothing beats hearing your spouse say, “You make me feel loved.” If you haven’t heard that in a while or feel like you are not bringing your A-game into your relationship, this book is for you.
The 5 Love Languages® has sold 20 MILLION COPIES because it is simple, practical, and effective. In this edition, Gary Chapman speaks straight to men about the rewards of speaking their wife’s love language. You’ll learn each language, how to identify your wife’s, and how to speak it clearly. Packed with helpful illustrations and creative pointers, these pages will rouse your inner champion and empower you to master the art of love.
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The Secret To Love That Lasts
Between busy schedules and long days, expressing love can fall by the wayside. We forget to compliment, to give gifts just because, to linger in our embrace. The things that say I love you seem to either not get said or not get through. This is a book about saying itand hearing itclearly. No gimmicks. No psychoanalyzing. Just learning to express love in your spouses language.
With over 20 MILLION COPIES SOLD, The 5 Love Languages® has been improving relationships for nearly 30 years. Its ideas are simple and conveyed with clarity and humor, making this book as practical as it is personable. Get inspired by real life stories and a common sense approach that will teach you to love better.
What Are The 5 Love Languages
Gary Chapman is a 40+ year marriage counselor whose premise is this each person understands love primarily in one of five languages:
Have you ever told someone your love for them and been exasperated by his or her response that they just wish you would hug and kiss them more? That would mean you are speaking the words of affirmation love language, but your recipient understands love in the physical touch language.
Or have you ever received a lavish gift from someone but just wished they would have spent the afternoon in your company instead? That would mean you are speaking the quality time love language but your gift giver understands love in the receiving gifts love language. Love conflicts: resolved!
A simple bit of knowledge and mindfulness about a persons love language can help you communicate better and strengthen any relationship. For example, I can picture the love languages being employed by parents with their child, who lack the communication skills to convey their emotional needs.
I highly recommend this quick, but powerful book for anyone looking to improve any type of relationship.
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When The Going Gets Tough First Examine Your Attitude
If you have an interpersonal relationship that is not smooth sailing and you wish to improve it, its helpful to start by examining your attitude toward that person.
What are your opinions, beliefs, and thoughts about that person? Are any of them biased? Do you have evidence that they are true? Have you already judged that persons actions before hearing them out? Do you see that person through unhelpful labels youd stuck on them in the past?
Hold space for your feelings about that person. Do it with compassion and curiosity. Name your feelings to understand whats going on with yourself. This feelings wheel might help with identifying those complex feelings. Are those feelings about that person or are they actually about yourself?
Think about your past and present behaviors towards that person. What is your non-verbal language with that person? Do you show rejection or defensiveness in your body language, in your voice tone, or in your choice of words? What new behaviors on your part might lead to an improvement in the relationship?
Ill leave my readers with this nugget of wisdom from a friends dad from many years ago. It speaks to pride, which often gets in our way.
Do you care more about being right or do you care more about that relationship?
Your answer to this question will literally inform your attitude.
The 5 Love Languages Summary
Chapman is convinced that keeping the emotional love tank full is as important to a marriage as maintaining the proper oil level is to an automobile.
When your spouses emotional love tank is full and they feel secure in your love, the whole world looks bright and your spouse will move out to reach their highest potential in life.
Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love.
Giving verbal compliments is one way to express words of affirmation to your spouse. Another dialect is encouraging words.
We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement.
Sometimes our words say one thing, but our tone of voice says another.
We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday.
When you make a request of your spouse, you are affirming his or her worth and abilities. You are introducing the element of choice. This is important because we cannot get emotional love by way of demand.
If your mates primary love language is quality time, your spouse simply wants you, being with them, spending time.
Spending time with your mate in a common pursuit communicates that you care about each other, that you enjoy being with each other, that you like to do things together.
Words of affirmation focus on what we are saying, whereas quality conversation focuses on what we are hearing.
We must be willing to give advice but only when it is requested and never in a condescending manner.
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The Book In Three Sentences
Its Never Too Late To Start Loving Better
Dating, married, single, or simply looking for better ways to connect with others? Theres a book for you!
They love each other, right? Then why do they always feel like they’re not on the same page?
The most common issue in any relationship is the communication barrier. Everyone experiences love differently, and it’s easy to miss the mark when it comes to showing that you care.
In his early years as a marriage counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman noticed that over and over, couples voiced similar complaints regarding their marriage.
One spouse would say something like, “I feel like he doesn’t love me.”
And the other would protest, “I don’t know what else to do. I’m doing everything I should be doing.”
Recognizing this pattern and remembering the rocky start in his own marriage, Dr. Chapman pored three years of session notes.
He asked himself, “When someone’s saying, ‘I feel like my spouse doesn’t love me,’ what did they want?”
Surprisingly, their answers fell into five different categories, revealing a unique approach for how to effectively love another person.
The premise is simple: Different people, with different personalities, give and receive love in different ways. Dr. Chapman called these ways of expressing and receiving love “The 5 Love Languages®.” He even wrote a best-selling book about it.
This revolutionary concept has improved millions of relationships across the globe.
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Best Careers For Military Spouses
There are a few different types of careers for military spouses. One option is to work in a career field that is portable, such as teaching, nursing, or working in a hospital. Another option is to work for the military in a career field that is specific to the military, such as working in human resources or in a commissary.
There are also a number of businesses that are specifically geared towards military spouses, such as businesses that offer childcare, cleaning services, or home-based businesses. Finally, many military spouses choose to work from home in order to be able to care for their families while their spouses are deployed.
The Five Love Languages
|The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate|
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a 1992 book by Gary Chapman. It outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, which Chapman calls “love languages”. They are acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation.
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Review Of The 5 Love Languages By Gary Chapman
Posted on Last updated: December 5, 2022
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. This post may also contain other affiliate links by which I earn commissions at no extra cost to you. Read my Disclosure to learn more.
Are you looking to transform a relationship, or even to simply understand and appreciate yourself or someone else better? This summary and review of The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman explores the languages we use to show and accept love. I also link to the free 5 Love Languages quiz so you can find out your own language for Valentines Day or any day!
Im no stranger to personality quizzes. I swear by the MBTI and an Enneagram 6 I have found learning about my personality types to be so influential to me in understanding my strengths and weaknesses, which informs every other area of my life.
As for my love language, before I even took the free 5 Love Languages quiz I knew I would be a quality time gal. I always feel best when I am doing something anything with my husband, and when hes not around, I feel lost and lack motivation. While some relationships thrive on space and time apart, I would feel unloved if he were consistently doing activities without me.
Check out more details about Gary Chapmans The 5 Love Languages book and how it can pertain to your life below :
What Being Loved Looks Like To Me
The idea for this post came about because I recently asked myself this question: How do I want to be loved?
And my answer was this: I want to be loved by being accepted for who I am and being cut some slack when I mess up. To me, love is about acceptance and compassion.
I noticed that my answer didnt feature any of the five love languages. Thats because what Im looking for is a whole attitude.
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Focus Instead On Cultivating A Healthier Attitude Toward The Other Person
Author Gary Chapman first introduced the five love languages to the world in his 1992 book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.
Briefly, the five love languages are words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, and acts of service. The main idea is if you and your partner consistently speak each others primary love languages, you both will have a more fulfilling relationship. So far, so good.
I have a problem with the five love languages though.
They are all behaviors.
Simple Ways To Strengthen Any Relationship
With more than 10 million copies sold, The 5 Love Languages® continues to transform relationships worldwide. And though originally written for married couples, its concepts have proven applicable to families, friends, and even coworkers. The premise is simple: Each person gives and receives love in a certain language, and speaking it will strengthen that relationship. For singles, that means you can:
Understand yourself and others better
Grow closer to family, friends, and others you care about
Gain courage to express your emotions and affection
Discover the missing ingredient in past relationships
Date more successfully and more
Whether you want to be closer to your parents, reach out more to your friends, or give dating another try,
The 5 Love Languages®: Singles Edition will give you the confidence you need to connect with others in a meaningful way. Nothing has more potential for enhancing ones sense of well-being than effectively loving and being loved. This book is designed to help you do both of these things effectively. Gary Chapman
Includes a quiz to help you learn your love language, plus a section on the pros and cons of online dating.
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Summary & Review Of The 5 Love Languages Book
Gary Chapmans The 5 Love Languages book has sold over 20 million copies, has been a #1 New York Times Bestseller for several years running and has celebrated its 25th anniversary. Now, thats a special book!
The 5 Love Languages gives you the keys and the power to transform your relationships. It should be read by everyone, and it may pertain to any type of relationship.